Today I had a breakdown of my soul.... today while alone...in the shower...I began to pray outloud to the lord....I was asking hime fo rthe wisdom I need to lead my life and my family in todays world...but as I was praying for this I realised that part of me wanted the wisdom so that people would admire me in a way....but when I realized what i was doing I stopped...I hit my knees and I asked GOD right ther to humble me...humble my heart....put me in the right place and then fill me with the wisdom I needed to glorify him and not me....I thanked him for my family...I thanked him for my wife...she is my inspiration and a major part of the man I am today....I thanked him for sending such an awsome loving and supportive woman to help me in my life....then I thanked him for sending his son JESUS to earth ....I thanked him for sacrificing himself on the cross for my sins and the sins of the world.....I asked GOD to use me as a tool to open the eyes of those who have not yet seen the path ....and GOD filled my heart with absolute SORROW....There I was in the shower on my knees praying to GOD and weeping like a small child.......I was overcome with grief and sorrow and the feeling of being unworthy of what JESUS had done for me and for what GOD had blessed me with in my life.....the tears fell sooo hard and so fast I couldnt believe it..... I felt my stone cold...passionless heart break into more pieces than there are grains of sand in the desert......and I got out of the shower and sat in my room crying .....finally I was able to get my arms around my wife and again...the tears fell.....
I know for those of you reading this your probably going ....OK ...he cried...and... but thats what is important....I prayed to be humbled and GOD answered me right then and there.....I as a man normally do not cry..... I have been in many painful situations in life and many joyful situations and tears are not a normal response for me.....not saying i havent shed tears but they are not normal....... I am a man who works in construction and coaches football....I have told my son before when questioned why dont you cry dad...I told him because men dont cry....yeah im that guy....a bullet hole in the chest wont get me to cry but here I am ...balling like a baby.....talk about being humbled...... it was an amazing experience.....I can't put into words how awsome it felt ......but I can say I have a new view of the lord and the sacrifices he made for US.....
I hope this helps someone.
Pop Warner
16 years ago
Posts
2 comments:
You got it bro. The sacrifices of God are a broken and contrite spirit. These He will not despise! I once asked an 80 year old man named Tom Mouch who had walked with Jesus for over 70 years what the single most critical component of his walk was, and he thought about it for a minute...Then he said, "humilty...As soon as your pride takes over, God is done using you."
I'll never forget that. Mandy and I are reading a fantastic book right now called "humility" by Andrew Murry. It's flat out amazing. God's really been dealing with me on this subject for about 30 days straight. Every where I look there's a teaching on humility, a passage about it in my devotions, or a comment on someone's blog (thanks).
Our real need is to embrace humility as we see it in the life of Jesus.
Good post.
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