Welcome

Welcome to my blog bout one mans journey to get to know the lord.
There is no real purpose for this blog other than to share my feelings and opinions as I search for the lord and attempt to change my life to better suit his desires for my life. so to start let me tell you who I am.

I am a 28 almost 29 year old husband and father of 3 children.....one is 9 (my son) and my daughters are 5 and 1 year old..... I have been faithfully and happily married for almost 10 years and together with my wife for 14 years....those doing the math at home....yes we have been together since i was 14....we are middle school sweethearts....and still going strong. I am a simple guy who enjoys simple things...time with my family ...FOOTBALL.... COACHING.....reading, conversation, you name it Ill probably at least try it.

On to the reason I started this blog..... Its hard to explain why I am doing this actually....I don't hope to gain anything from this ....i just know I want my story to be told and it seems blogging is the new way of doing it. So if your reading this know that I'm not trying to hook you into anything nor am i trying to sell or convince you of anything....I just want to keep a journal that people can read and hopefully in some way benefit from it.

My testimonial......
There is no spectacular moment in my life where god stepped into my drug and sex filled life and changed it overnight.....there was no moment where my life was threatened or I was dying and then miraculously healed....I have no single moment where I can remember hearing gods call to me and i instinctively answered it, so if that's what a real testimonial is ....sadly I don't have one.

I sat in church the other day ( I recently began attending Wave church in Va Beach) and the pastor was telling his story about how god saved him , and he said something that almost offended me....he said he always felt like a fool when he tells his story to someone and they are like ...really that's what it took for you.....I kinda always just knew ....it seemed common sense to accept Jesus as my savior.....the pastor said (jokingly i assume) he had no idea there was an easier way to accept Christ ....he figured the trials and tribulations he went through were the only way and hearing others talk of always knowing made hi feel like....DUH! there is an easier way.

I am one of those people who took the "EASIER" way..... I grew up knowing who Jesus was and why he died and from an early age I accepted that...it was "common sense" but because it was so common it almost became unimportant ....I found myself searching out other ways to feel a Divine experience since the one everyone else felt was "common" to me.....I tried to learn from buddah....meditation...zen...circular religion....anything but Christianity because...that simply wasn't working for me....finally I tried Christianity about three years ago....I was on fire for a few months...soaking up every bit of knowledge i could get my hands on...suddenly i just stopped...I found things wrong in the church I was attending and it would eat me up every time i sat in church...see i have a big problem with people being fake...in or out of church.... so it detracted me from what I was there for and in turn led me to think...why am I going I come out more angry than i go in so ill just stay home.....that in turn led to a 3 year backslide.....now here i am searching again....see I have no real turn around...its been a long constant battle and to have that called the easy way....and lets not talk about the feelings of insecurity and jealousy because god never changed me that way....I constantly question if I'm really "saved" .....